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Snack Attack (transcript)
Script * episode begins in Dimmsdale Park. We see banners for an event called "Dimmsdale Days". Various booths can be seen. [[Chet Ubetcha|'Chet Ubetcha']]: 'This is Chet Ubetcha reporting from Dimmsdale Days. * ''[A booth for Paper Maché Pet Rocks is seen. The man working at the stall is selling a bag of the rocks to a customer.] '''Chet Ubetcha:'' The annual festival where local residents try to turn a profit from their pathetic hobbies. In unrelated news, ''is behind a booth for Seashell Earmuffs ''who wants to buy some seashell earmuffs made by a famous reporter? ''puts on a pair of the earmuffs. ''I can hear the ocean! Oh, no, wait. That's a hermit crab with asthma! * ''hermit crab pops out of Chet's ear. He is gasping for air rapidly and he is holding an inhaler. He puts the inhaler to his mouth and breaths with it. * booth is seen, this time it's for "Mom's Banana Bread". [[Mrs. Turner] is behind the stall selling a loaf to a customer. Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda are on a nearby tree, all transformed as squirrels.] Timmy: 'I wonder how my mom is doing with her banana bread booth? '''Cosmo: '''I can't hear you, Timmy. ''pulls a shrimp out of his ear. ''There's a shrimp in my ear! It's not from the earmuffs, it's from the Cajun food stand! ''Cajun food booth is seen. ''Thank goodness ''begins to dip the shrimp into his belly button. ''there's cocktail sauce in my belly button! ''eats the shrimp. 'Wanda: '''Sport, I think something's wrong with your Mom's banana bread. * ''customers near the banana bread booth are burping yellow bubbles. Timmy jumps down from the tree, and transforms back into his normal self. 'Timmy: '''Woah, Mom. Why are customers burping up bubbles? '''Mrs. Turner: '''Well, and this is just a theory. Perhaps it's because instead of using bananas in the recipe, ''Turner gets out a bottle of Banana Shampoo. I used banana shampoo. '''Timmy: '''Shampoo is poison! It could have terrible side-effects. '''Mrs. Turner: But I use shampoo in everything!' '''Except my homemade shampoo. I use bananas in that. 'Sparky (off-screen): Spark Tarts! * blue booth for "Spark Tarts" is seen on the right of the "Mom's Banana Bread" booth. Sparky is behind the booth. '' '''Sparky: '''Get your Spark Tarts! '''Mrs. Turner: '''Oh-dear! You were right about shampoo having side-effects. I'm hearing the dog talk! '''Timmy: '''Sparky, these are dog treats! You can't sell them to humans! * ''stuffs a Spark Tart into Timmy's mouth. Timmy chews it. 'Timmy: '''Mmm.... Oh yes you can! These are delicious! Hey, everyone, ''[A group of customers are shown to the viewer.} come get your Spark Tarts! * customers surround the Spark Tart booth. Some holding dollar bills. 'Female Customer: '''I'll buy one! ''hands Sparky a dollar bill. '''Elderly Female Customer: ''is holding a bag of Spark Tarts. '' These are fantastic! Male Customer: ''is also holding a bag of Spark Tarts I love Spark Tarts! * [Mr. Crocker is standing by a photo booth. He is holding the entrance curtain open.]'' Crocker: 'Step into my photo booth and let me capture your magic, I mean your likeness in a fun photo! * ''customer walks into the photo booth. Once she is inside, she begins to get scanned by a laser. Mr. Crocker peeps in through a window inside of the booth. The windows shows the words "NO MAGIC" in pink text. 'Crocker: '''You're not a fairy! Get out! '''Customer: '''Where's my photo? * ''throws the customer out of the booth. 'Crocker: '''I said get out! * ''customer screams. [[Mr. Turner] walks over to Crocker. He is holding a plate of Spark Tarts.] 'Mr. Turner: '''Hey, Mr. Crackers. Can I get a picture of me and my new best friend, this plate of delicious Spark Tarts? '''Crocker: '''Oh, sure. Do you want wallet size or- ''kicks Mr. Turner away. The Spark Tarts get scattered everywhere. GET OUT! * [A Spark Tart lands on a stool in the photo booth. The laser scans it. Mr. Crocker looks at the same window as before. This time, it displays the text "MAGIC" in pink text, along with a ding. 'Crocker: '''Wait a minute. There's fairy magic in this Spark Tart. I've got to take it back to The Crocker Cave for further analysis. And eventually to dunk it in milk! ''dashes away. He is manically laughing, and looking at the Spark Tart. * to [[Crocker's House]. We see Crocker in the Crocker Cave, and he is still manically laughing. A conveyor belt is seen in the middle of the Crocker Cave. Crocker begins typing something into a computer.] '''Crocker: Now to if there's enough fairy magic in this treat to make a wish! What will I wish for? A space laser to annihilate all my enemies? No! I need a wish for something really ''useful. Like dental floss that wont snap between my teeth. ''see a close up of Crocker's teeth. They're all rotten and yellow. Snapped dental floss is seen all inside of them. '' Ironically the only way to get the floss out is with ''is holding a pouch, with a string of dental floss inside. ''more floss! It's a vicious circle! * ''beeping is heard from a nearby computer. Crocker looks at it. Computer: 'Analysis complete. Item contains only ''computer displays an image of the Spark Tart. The text "0.000001 MAGIC" is seen. one millionth of the magic required to make a wish. 'Crocker: '''Darn it! That means an order to make a wish. I'm gonna need how many treats? ''pulls out a calculator. ''Let's see. Carry the five, divide by four. '''Computer: '''You need a million, you moron. '''Crocker: '''I wanted to add it up myself, computer. Now, I just have to get a million Spark Tarts from Turner. But I can't approach him as me, so I'll need a uh, let me think. '''Computer: '''Disguise. '''Crocker: '''I would of gotten that one! I was going through the D words in my head. * ''manically laughs as he presses a red button. An entrance opens up through a wall in the cave. A rack of clothing comes out of it. '' '''Crocker: '''Let's see, ''pulls out a cloak. ''The Grim Reaper? No, I'll wear that tonight and scare Mother during bathtime. ''tosses the cloak away. ''Let's see what other costumes I have- hold the phone! ''pulls out a top hat and matching tuxedo. ''Stereotypical 1920's rich guy, ''puts on the top hat. that's perfect! Okay, let's get this show on the- um. 'Computer: '''Road. '''Crocker: '''I was getting to that! I was just on the R words! * ''to [[The Turner's House]. Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Sparky poof into Timmy's bedroom. Sparky is holding a stack of dollar bills.] 'Timmy: '''Wow, Sparky, we really cleaned up selling your Spark Tarts. '''Mr. Turner (off-screen): '''Oh, Timmy! * ''and Wanda poof away. 'Mr. Turner: '''Can I borrow some money? I need to buy more ''Turner takes Sparky's money off him. Spark Tarts. hands the money to Timmy. ''They're fantastic! '''Timmy: '''Sorry, Dad. We're all out. * ''Turner snatches the money from Timmy. 'Mr. Turner: '''Then give me back my money, you swindler! ''leaves the room. 'Timmy: '''You know, Sparky. If we went into business together, we could really make a fortune with those Spark Tarts. Or at least make the money back that my Dad just took from us. '''Sparky: '''I'm in. But Dimmsdale Days is over. Who are we gonna sell them to? * ''climbs up a ladder to Timmy's window. He is wearing a top hat, a monocle, and a tuxedo. 'Crocker: '''Hello, I'm a billionaire from the 1920's.who would like to buy a million Spark Tarts. I climbed this ladder cus rich people always climb a ladder to the top. '''Timmy: '''I'm sorry, who are you? '''Crocker: '''The name's Phil Therich. ''hands Timmy a card. ''Here's my card. * ''see a close-up of the card. It has a fancy yellow border on it. A picture of a diamond and a dollar sign are on the top-right corner of the card. The card reads; "Phil Therich. 1920's billionaire.". 'Timmy: '''Phil Therich. 1920's billionaire. Wow, a million Spark Tarts. Okay, they're a dollar each, so it'll cost ya' a million dollars, Mr. Therich. '''Crocker: '''Who? Oh, yeah! Right. Okay, I'll be back for the Spark Tarts in 24 hours. * ''walks off the ladder, into midair. He falls onto the ground but his top hat stays in the air. His top hat then falls as well. Crocker screams. 'Timmy: '''Woo-hoo! Sparky, we're gonna be rich! Poof up your Spark Tarts! '''Sparky: '''I can't poof them up, it's a special recipe. We have to bake them ourselves. '''Timmy: '''What!? We have to work for a million dollars? That doesn't seem fair. * ''and Wanda poof into the scene. 'Wanda: '''Don't worry, Timmy. We'll help. With the right attitude, we'll be done in no time! * ''to several hours later. It is late at night. 'Timmy (off-screen): '''We're not done! * ''to Timmy's bedroom. The entire room has been converted into a factory for Spark Tarts. A conveyor belt is seen, which starts near the door, and ends near the bed. Sparky is behind it, inspecting the Spark Tarts. Sparky is wearing an apron and a chef hat. There are shelves with a small amount of Spark Tarts on them. A table is in the middle of the room. Wanda is wearing a hairnet, and is rolling dough. Timmy is wearing a chef hat and is cutting out the Spark Tarts. A container for tart mix is seen next to the start of the conveyor belt. Cosmo flies by, wearing a hairnet. '''Wanda: '''Wow, do I hate baking these stupid Spark Tarts. '''Timmy: '''We've been at this for hours, and we're nowhere close to making a million. Cosmo, how many have we done? '''Cosmo: '''Thirty-seven. ' '''Timmy: '''Hundred or thousand? '''Cosmo: '''Just thirty-seven. ''picks up a Spark Tart, and eats it. ''Make that thirty-six. I just ate one. Ooh, these are good! ''picks up a huge pile of Spark Tarts, and eats them all in one gulp. ''Okay, now we have nineteen. Don't worry, Timmy, I got a bunch of ''opens the door, and a group of "elves" are standing behind it. magical elves to help us. Jockey #2: 'We're not elves, we're jockeys. '''Cosmo: '''I'm a baker, not a shrink. Don't tell me your problems. Now put on a hairnet and start baking! * ''"elves" put on their hairnets, and walk into the factory. * to several hours later. Sparky is riding a fork lifter, which is full of Spark Tarts. He dumps them into a large crate. A screen on it reads "1,000,000". 'Sparky: '''We did it, everyone! A million Spark Tarts! * ''Cosmo, Wanda, and Sparky cheer. Then. they immediately stop. '''Timmy: '''Wait, what happened to them? '''Mr. Turner: I ate them and they were delicious! Timmy: 'You ate a million? * ''now obese Mr. Turner is sitting on a lawn chair. 'Mr. Turner: '''Don't be ridiculous, Timmy. Counting the ones I ate at the fair, I'm only up to 999,999. I threw the rest at Dinkleberg's stupid face! '''Timmy: '''Great, what are we gonna do? We've only got twelve hours to make a million more Spark Tarts and we don't have enough help! '''Cosmo: '''No problem, Timmy. ''opens the door. A group of children are standing behind it. ''I got more elves! '''Child #2: '''We're not elves, we're first graders. '''Cosmo: '''I'd believe that if I didn't know how deceptive elves can be. * ''first graders put on hairnets, and walk over to the factory. * to the next day. Cosmo, Wanda, The Jockeys, and the First Graders are asleep. Timmy and Sparky are standing beside a full crate of Spark Tarts. 'Timmy: '''We did it! We made another million Spark Tarts, just in time. We're gonna be rich! ''and Sparky high-five. 'Crocker (off-screen): '''Speaking of rich. * ''(still disguised as Phil Therich) is at Timmy's window again. '''Crocker: It is I; Phil Therich. I take it my Spark Tarts are ready? Timmy: '''They're all yours, Mr. Therich. Just pay us a million dollars. '''Crocker: '''Here you go, a million dollar bill. ''hands Timmy a red bill, with Mr. Crocker's head on it. ''And it's a red one. '''Timmy: '''Wait a minute. This bill has Mr. Crocker's face on it. '''Crocker: That's right, Turner! takes off his monocle. ''It's me, cleverly disguised behind this monocle the whole time! ''picks up the crate of Spark Tarts. ''And now that I have a million Spark Tarts, I can make a wish to annihilate you! ''weight of the Spark Tarts make the ladder collapse. Crocker screams. He then gulps. ''I swallowed my monocle! ''manically laugh, and puts the crate in the back of his truck. He then drives off. Timmy: 'I don't get it. Why does Mr. Crocker think he can make a wish with a million Spark Tarts? '''Sparky: '''Well, and this is just a theory, it could be because of the secret ingredient in Spark Tarts is a pinch of fairy dust? '''Timmy: '''What!? Then Mr. Crocker really can annihilate me! * ''and Wanda are still sleeping. 'Timmy: '''Cosmo, Wanda! You gotta help me! Oh-no, they're still knocked out from baking all night! * ''gets out a hose, and squirts Cosmo and Wanda with it. They remain asleep. 'Wanda (sleep-talking): '''Cover your nose when you sneeze, Cosmo. '''Cosmo (sleep-talking): '''Come on in, super model Tatyana. The water's great! '''Timmy: '''Look's like we're on out own, Sparky. * ''is now asleep. Timmy squirts him with a hose. Sparky remains asleep. 'Sparky (sleep-talking): '''Cover your nose when you sneeze, super model Tatyana. ' ' '''Timmy: '''How am I gonna stop Mr. Crocker? I'm on my own with no magic! '''Mr. Turner (off-screen): '''Oh, Timmy! * ''Turner is obese, and still sitting on the lawn chair. '' '''Mr. Turner: '''Oh, I don't feel so good! * ''see a close-up of the last Spark Tart in the large crate. 'Timmy (off-screen): '''That's it! '''Timmy: '''My dad ate 999,999 Spark Tarts! If I can get him to eat one more, he'll have the magic I need to stop Mr. Crocker! * ''walks to the lawn. '''Mr. Turner: ''groaning Ohh. Oh, Timmy. I shouldn't of eaten so many delicious Spark Tarts! '''Timmy: '''No, you shouldn't have.' Now eat one more! * stuffs a Spark Tart into Mr. Turners mouth, and he eats it. Mr. Turner begins to float. 'Mr. Turner: '''Whoa, I feel light as a feather! * ''catches Mr. Turner with a lasso. '''Timmy: '''C'mon. We gotta get to Mr. Crocker's house. No time to waste! * is running to Mr. Crocker's house. He is holding the lasso with Mr. Turner attatched to it. Mr. Turner is still floating. Electricity is seen nearby. 'Mr. Turner (off-screen): '''Ow! I hit a power line! '''Timmy (off-screen): '''Walk it out. * ''back to The Crocker Cave. Crocker is poring the contents of the crate of Spark Tarts into a machine. Once he is done, he throws away the crate. The machine begins to shred the Spark Tarts. The machine displays the numbers "999998". 'Crocker: '''999,998. * ''numbers on the machine change to "999999". 'Crocker: '''999,999! * ''numbers on the machine change to "1000000". 'Crocker: '''One million! '''Computer: '''You've got magic. * ''machine creates a [[Fairy Wands|wand].] 'Crocker: '''Excellent! Now I can make a wish to annihilate Turner! Or I can get rid of that accursed dental floss. I tried using toothpicks, but those got stuck too. * ''see a close-up of Crocker's teeth. Strings of dental floss and toothpicks are stuck inside of them. '' '''Crocker: '''Or I could wish for corn! No wait, that's what kicked off this flossing nightmare in the first place! * ''walks into the Crocker Cave. He is holding the lasso that Mr. Turner is attached to. Mr. Turner hits his face on the door. '''Mr. Turner: ''groans'' Timmy: Suck it up! Crocker: 'You're too late, Turner and that strange lifeless balloon that looks like your dad. I put the magic from those Spark Tarts into a wand! * ''pulls down Mr. Turner and grabs his leg. 'Timmy: '''Well I put the magic from those Spark Tarts into a wand of my own! ''whacks Crocker with Mr. Turner. 'Crocker: '''You think you have the upper-hand, Turner. ''runs to a table. ''But I'm gonna turn the tables on you! ''attempts to turn the table, but he struggles. ''Those are heavy tables. Hmm, looks like I actually kicked the tables, instead. No matter. Now you have to take the long way around! '''Timmy: '''That's it? That's all you got? '''Crocker: '''No, ''pulls a lever. ''I also have a robot spider! * ''robot spider's blood-curdling eyes are seen inside of a dark room. 'Mr. Turner: '''Wow, Timmy. You have a really weird relationship with your math teacher. * ''giant robotic spider is standing in front of Mr. Turner and Timmy. '''Timmy: ''screams'' Crocker: 'Get him! '''Robotic Spider: '''I can't! I'm blocked by these tipped tables. ''cries. '' '''Crocker: '''Oh well, I'll just have to use my magic wand to annihilate you! ''uses the wand's magic to try and annihilate Timmy, but he misses. Timmy screams. '''Timmy: I wish you had no more magic! shakes Mr. Turner (who is acting as a wand). * wand disappears. Crocker: ''gasps'' 'Mr. Turner: '''I ate a million Spark Tarts, Timmy. You really shouldn't be shaking me! ''Turner falls unconscious. 'Crocker: '''Curse you, Turner and your weird deflating dad balloon. I promise I'll find another way to destroy you! But first I need to tip these tables back to their upright position. * ''back to The Turner's House. Timmy, Sparky, Cosmo, and Wanda are sitting on Timmy's bed. 'Timmy: '''Well, guys, everything's back to normal. And we don't have to worry about any more magic Spark Tarts! * ''Turner floats by Timmy's window. 'Mrs. Turner: '''Hi, Timmy! '''Timmy: '''Oh-no! Mom, did you eat a bunch of Spark Tarts? * ''Turner's purse is caught on Mr. Turner's foot. 'Mrs. Turner: '''No, honey. My purse got caught on a hot air balloon. * ''is seen from nearby. 'Mrs. Turner: '''Ow, I hit a power line! '''Timmy: '''Walk it out, mom! * ''to Crocker in his bathroom. He is dressed up as the Grim Reaper, standing next to [[Dolores-Day Crocker], who is in a bathtub.] 'Crocker: '''It's bath time, Mother. * ''end title card appears, as the episode ends. Category:Episode transcripts Category:Season 9 transcripts